More creepers

You know those blogs that are artfully crafted to make the blogger’s life seem like a cotton candy dream world?? Well, I think that my blog is the opposite of that. Not that my daily life isn’t a cotton candy dream world, but the East Coast cynic in me enjoys writing posts like these.

Here are some little stories about some creepers I encountered in the last few weeks. Thankfully these creeps were not focusing specifically on me like last time.

As I mentioned before, I moved into a new apartment building. This is the first time I’ve ever lived alone, and so far I am digging it. It would be nice if I could get my act together and get some furniture and organize myself, but that’s another story. There have been some creeper* incidents in the last few weeks here.

Creeper no.1
After I got back to Portland from my road trip (while my Mom was still in town, mind you), I started hearing this guy in the apartment above me having sex (or masturbating) on an EXTREMELY regular basis and at all times of the day, morning, afternoon (delight) and evening.. He was sooooo loud, but thank goodness it would only last about 90 seconds. Finally last week I got totally fed up when I heard him going at it for the umpteenth time and yelled out my window, “shuuuuu-uuuut up!!!!”.

At first I heard dead silence,
then he replied, “Fuck you…………..blow me”.


After that I just shut my windows very loudly and dramatically. However, I have not heard him again.

Creeper no.2
Smoking is not allowed inside my apartment building. I always see this dude who has a place on the first floor in front of the building hanging out his window to smoke. It’s kinda awkward because I never know if I should acknowledge him or pretend I don’t notice him. I usually avert my eyes because I’m a slightly awkward human being myself. Turns out that I made a good choice because I saw him hanging out his window in broad daylight looking into the windows of the apartments across the street with binoculars!!! This time I shamed him with my direct glare. I see what you are doing!!!! He quickly retreated inside his window and shut it behind him.

Creeper no.3
Now this creeper is just disgusting. I walked outside the other day not to find a gaggle of hipsters in the courtyard as usual, but poop. Poop that someone had feebly attempted to pick up, only managing to smear it in a largish area. Is it human in origin, or canine? I don’t know, but it is wrong. I told the property management company about it when I paid my rent today, but it’s still not clean as of Friday eve. Which means it will be there until Monday. This makes me so glad I forked over half my monthly salary this morning for rent to live in a building with a feces welcome mat.

Three creeps. I wish I had something better to blog about, but I need to order a new charger for my roadkill camera, and my brain is so diseased with senior-itis (I graduate college in TWO WEEKS) that I just can’t focus on anything these days.

Happy weekend, may it be creeper-free!!!!

*note:These creep photos are sourced from the first few pages of google images.


About Jennifer

I like fun stuff.
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