Bikini Coffee opened up at 520 SW Fifth today. It’s seriously a coffee shop where the baristas wear bikinis. Apparently it’s a concept that is very popular with rural pick-up truck drivers.
Since when does any downtown coffee shop in Portland, Oregon require a gimmick to sell coffee? Surly, tattooed, fully clothed baristas were getting the job done just fine, thank you. Today I had to pick up a package next door to this illustrious Bikini Coffee. They were celebrating the opening with a crooked red carpet on the sidewalk next to some construction grand revelry.
KGW’s coverage of this “newsworthy” event annoys me for these reasons amongst others…
- Triple entrendre usage of the word perk
- The creepy old guy, who apparently already had coffee and came to look at the “cups”
- The original Bikini barista has scoliosis and talks like a 12 year old
- It is not all about the coffee. That’s why the word Bikini comes before the word Coffee. Although I’m not sure what Coffee Bikini would imply.
- The woman who claims to be there to support our local women doing their jobs. whatever.
- The owner boasting that some guy drives twenty miles.asdflajjhgkjfI cant.do.this.anymore.too.stupid.