Where do I start?

Bikini Coffee opened up at 520 SW Fifth today. It’s seriously a coffee shop where the baristas wear bikinis. Apparently it’s a concept that is very popular with rural pick-up truck drivers.


Since when does any downtown coffee shop in Portland, Oregon require a gimmick to sell coffee? Surly, tattooed, fully clothed baristas were getting the job done just fine, thank you. Today I had to pick up a package next door to this illustrious Bikini Coffee. They were celebrating the opening with a crooked red carpet on the sidewalk next to some construction grand revelry.

Click here for KGW’s story

KGW’s coverage of this “newsworthy” event annoys me for these reasons amongst others…

  1. Triple entrendre usage of the word perk
  2. The creepy old guy, who apparently already had coffee and came to look at the “cups”
  3. The original Bikini barista has scoliosis and talks like a 12 year old
  4. It is not all about the coffee. That’s why the word Bikini comes before the word Coffee. Although I’m not sure what Coffee Bikini would imply.
  5. The woman who claims to be there to support our local women doing their jobs. whatever.
  6. The owner boasting that some guy drives twenty miles.asdflajjhgkjfI cant.do.this.anymore.too.stupid.

About Jennifer

I like fun stuff.
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One Response to Where do I start?

  1. squarebrackets says:

    i think they were probably basing
    their entire business model on
    the theory that ‘sex sells’ and in the
    case of the old guy and the guy
    who drove twenty miles it seems to have worked

    can’t believe it was on the news though
    there are more important things out there

    just my thoughts

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